In Defense of Internet Lingo (Careful Fanboys, This Meme is Snarky)
Everyone has something to add to Oxford University Corpus’s list of the top “irritating phrases,” (for the upcoming book, Damp Squid.) The Telegraph article now has 2400 comments, some of which are a back and forth of what is and is not a misused phrase, eg, “To the person who ‘corrected’ the incorrect phrase ’spitting image’ to ’spirit and image’, your correction is incorrect. The original form of the phrase is ’spit and image’, commonly reduced in casual speech to ’spit ‘n’ image’, in the same way that ‘rock and roll’ becomes ‘rock ‘n’ roll’.”
Wired’s blog has another hundred or so comments, and many of them unsurprisingly sneer at common web lingo. Do these people really want to constrict the English language so that it never grows and words only mean what they have always meant? Or is it just a mild prejudice against the kind of people who talk like that?
Perhaps the greatest article on the subject was on Gawker a few years ago, rightly zinging the blogger-insider language that distinguishes it as not-real journalism:
I’m looking at you, [example of complaint].
Has been known to cause actual outbreaks of hives. As if the thing/person “looked” at would react with a surprised and bashful “Who, me?”. Puts the writer in the unflattering role (for all concerned) of pedantic schoolteacher addressing unruly children.Um, [condescension]?
As a verbal tic in conversation, “um” is perfectly acceptable and often auditorially invisible. Written in prose, it signals a level of smarmy superiority that would get you rightly punched in the face if you dared behave like that in person.[Argument], wait for it, [rhetorical flourish].
Where did this come from? Stage direction cues in the theater? No matter, it’s a ridiculous tease and artificial tension builder that’s never worth the wait.
Generally I’m annoyed by people who say “random!” when they don’t actually mean random or say it after a silly (not funny) joke. It’s not their usage of the word that bugs me, so much as the kind of people who tend to say it — a signal they might be part of a certain gum smacking subspecies. Hatred of business-ese also seems better directed at the overwhelming personalities of mid-management social media hacks who want to sell you something “bleeding edge,” part of the “brand called you” once they “touch base with you.” It has nothing to do really with the cliches themselves, misused or not.
Maybe I’ve insulated my world away from those kinds of people, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard or read the phrase “jumped the shark” used without the utterer knowingly referencing the annoyance the phrase inflicts. Likewise, “thinking outside the box,” always seems to be said with a knowing arched eyebrow.
There are three words web writers often can’t stand but I’d like to see them preserved as they so subtly acknowledge particular facets of online behavior: snark, fanboy, and meme.
I can’t improve on this response by Caesar on Wired about snark: “You can’t get replace ’snark’ with ’sarcasm.’ Everyone knows that sarcasm doesn’t come across over the internet, but it’s easy to tell when someone’s being snarky.” And a fanboy isn’t a fan. It is so much more, explaining a childlike blind devotion that is also a very isolating experience, one ususally can only share with others on online forums. Red Sox fans aren’t fanboys, especially in Boston, because you can meet and bond with anyone who shares your passion by entering the nearest Irish bar on game night.
I long tried to avoid using the word “meme” knowing how many people out there love to say Richard Dawkins wasn’t talking about dancing cat pictures. But, whatever. There’s no other word describing the way an idea on the internet spreads, um, “virally.” The term has been around since the early days of blogging. While it, like “blog,” is a hated word, it’s here to stay.
More interesting comments from the Wired thread:
I don’t know where to begin. Most people who think they have mastered English aren’t even close. In fact, there is no mastery of language, except in the understanding that it will never be static. Most phrases that annoy people are simply those that originate in a different region or culture (generation, dialect, etc.) and are misunderstood. Spelling and syntax errors aside (mostly), the flexibility of English is what makes it a great language, and I thumb my nose (I’m sure I just made a few people squirm) at those language Nazis who think their version is the correct one. If you want to sound intelligent, stick to the rules. However, there are great benefits to learning the lingo of another dialect or generation. And at the end of the day you’ll find you’ve communicated in a new way with someone who isn’t *you* (with all due respect). How about that.
Posted by: robogobo | Nov 7, 2008 10:36:23 AMMy god you people have a long stick up your collective asses. Do you hate every colloquialism? Is everything you say a completely unique combination of words? Are you never, ever redundant for emphasis, clarity, or just for entertainment? It’s tight asses like you who keep us from having an official genderless singular possessive pronoun equivalent of “his/her”, namely “their”- and so we’re stuck with one of the most awkward and yet “correct” phrases ever.
I swear all you English majors need to get laid more often.
Posted by: robogobo | Nov 7, 2008 11:24:06 AM“the”
I keep hearing that word all the time. I don’t care how useful it is; I’m tired of hearing it. If you’re not creative enough to express yourself without using old words, then you don’t deserve to express yourself.
…seriously though, cliches are pretty much the same as words. Why should I make up a new metaphor/symbol/sentence when a well known one already exists? I can use it without effort and my listener can understand it without effort.
The example of “snarky” was very ironic. In a piece that’s basically just complaining about people using old words, the author complained about people using a new word when the old word was “good enough.” Well, the expressions and sayings I already know are good enough for me.
The “begging the question” complaint is silly too. I have never once heard that phrase used “correctly,” and “circular argument” makes a lot more sense anyway. If everybody in the world forgot the original meaning of “begging the question,” nothing of value would have been lost.
I don’t care what any arbitrary “rules” (there are no actual rules… only conventions) say. The purpose of language is to express your idea in a way that others can understand. If you don’t do this, then you fail at language…. no matter how perfect your grammar/usage is or how unique your metaphors are.
Posted by: james | Nov 7, 2008 11:29:47 AM
A lot of comments make the infuriating assumption that typos evidence a writer’s sub-Grade 3 grammar skills. Look, the greater likelihood is someone accidently typed “their” instead of “they’re” because people often type homonyms accidently when they are typing fast. (For some reason I always seem to write celebrate as “selebrate,” even though I can’t remember not knowing how to spell the word. I guess my fingers are aligned in a weird way with the aural part of my brain.)
What we see as errors might be our own arrogance. One comment fumes over “centers around,” but while a bunch of centers wheeling around sure is stupid, one might also visualize this as finding a center point near or “around’ someplace.
Reading this, I was reminded of Steven Pinker’s op-ed, “Everything You Heard Is Wrong,” defending Sarah Palin and GWB’s pronunciation of “nucular”:
no, “nucular” is not a sign of ignorance. This reversal of vowel-like consonants (nuk-l’-yer —> nuk-y’-ler) is common in the world’s languages, and is no more illiterate than pronouncing “iron” the way most Americans do, as “eye-yern” instead of “eye-ren.”
Nucular, FTW!
Art by Mark Bradford
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Alright, Sokay: Tomorrow’s English Language
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